Exercises, Handouts, and Posters

Tell Me exercise

TELL ME Exercise is designed to create a sense of safety for the speaker. The listener also benefits by learning to listen without becoming defensive. The exercise helps the listener to silence the voices in his/her mind that are coming up with all the defensive responses while the other person is speaking. 

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Tell Me Your Anger exercise

This is one of the most powerful exercises I have ever created. The first time I used this exercise it worked better than my wildest dreams. This exercise is for couples who are very angry at each other and can hardly stand to be in the same room together. The first time you use this with a couple be sure that you stay in control and in force the rules.

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There are three purposes for this exercise:
1) To teach constructive ways of expressing anger so that the person being yelled at doesn't feel put down or threatened and the person doing the yelling doesn't feel guilty or embarrassed after they have calmed down,

2) To teach the person being yelled at not to be afraid of the expression of anger and shut down or run away, and

3.) To give people, who are angry, a way of venting that will strengthen their relationships and keep feelings from building up and blowing up.

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Five love languages quiz

 Many people know the book, The Five Languages of Love.  This profile is based on that book.

 The profile will assist you in knowing your primary “love language”. For those who are certain they already know their primary love language, the profile will serve as confirmation.

For those who are not quite as sure which love language is their primary one, the profile will bring clarification.

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Question a Day

Love is a product of communication. However, many couples do not know how to share on a deep emotional level. As a result, their sharing soon becomes superficial or stops completely. We can learn how to have intense sharing together and find acceptance. Then, loving feelings will be able to grow. The following methods are designed to facilitate this increased sharing.

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Ask for what you want a 7  step contract 

Having trouble saying no?

Many people do not get what they want because they do not know how to ask , or they are afraid of the person saying no.

This 7 step contract can make getting what you want a lot easier. 

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Download My Book

Check this out

Doc’s life-changing book: "Taking Control of Your Life: How to Dramatically Increase your Emotional Intelligence (EQ)" can be downloaded from Smashwords.

Coffee and A Book

Doc's Posters

"Doc Downing has a wonderful way of summing up' the EQ concepts so that they are understandable, memorial, and practical! Here are a few posters with some of his concepts."  Matt Perlstein, EQ Guy